The Easter Story: Take 2

Last year I wrote this post about my attempt at telling Liam the Easter story. I wasn't as successful as I hoped but this year is a completely different story. My mother in law gave him a wooden craft kit that helped tremendously. We colored all the little characters and talked about who they all were then I acted the story out for him. He keeps asking me to tell him the story again and again and I think he actually understands the events even if he doesn't grasp the importance.

He has recently been showing interest in our faith in other ways as well. I have been praying with him at night before bed so every night after we read stories he reaches for his lamp cord and before he pulls it he says, "Say Jesus," which means he wants me to pray.

He even participated in communion a couple Sundays ago when he was too quick for me to stop him from reaching for the bread. Then he talked about it for days after saying, "remember when Jesus broke the bread?! That was fun!"

He has also been reading a lot from his children's bibles and he likes hearing all of the stories repeatedly. He also likes holding the bible with one hand because "that's how they do it on Beauty and the Beast." He may still be a bit confused.

Also, when he's stressed he says, "Jesus, help me," which I'm sure has less to do with Christianity and more to do with repeating things his stressed out mom may say.

My First Week

Paul has, unfortunately, gone back to work. I didn't realize how nervous I was about taking care of both kids without him until I completely fell apart the day before he went back. My first morning alone was a bit chaotic as well but I was surprised at how quickly we fell into a rhythm. The hardest part for me so far is telling Liam that I can't hold him or help him with something because I am holding Brygit. As a matter of fact, yesterday morning I found myself walking down the stairs with Liam on my right hip and Brygit in my left arm while nursing. Talk about multi-tasking. He is getting pretty good at understanding that I only have two hands and Brygit is getting pretty good at laying down while watching Liam and I play or napping in my Moby Wrap while I push him on the swings. I am trying to make the most of my time with each of them. The biggest hurdle at this point in time would probably have to be Liam's mood in the evenings. We have cut his nap out because he was sleeping all afternoon and staying up all night. He does really well without one until somewhere between 3 and 5pm. Then he's a whiny mess and my patience gets a good work out until bedtime. Here is what we have been doing.

Playing with my phone and lounging,

reading the Bible (Liam's new favorite thing),

napping (only Brygit, of course),

playing Red Light, Green Light outside,

lots of swinging,

and even more cuddle time.

I also ventured out to the mall with both kids for story time at the book store and I managed quite well if I may say so. It took me about an hour to load and unload all of my unnecessary gear and gigantic stroller but we made it in and out with minimal fuss. I'm feeling more and more confident (and exhausted) each day.

It's the small things

It's my goal to take in the small, precious moments with my chidren that make me so incredibly happy. Here are a couple of my recent favorites:

Liam playing basketball outside with Paul,

Brygit's gorgeous sleep smiles,

And Liam and his cousins playing in ipad heaven.

More to come...

Maternal guilt

The other night while I layed in Liam's bed waiting for him to fall asleep, I felt a little pang of maternal guilt. A thought went through my head that sounded a little like, "I miss him." I felt like I hadn't connected with Liam in days. Once I was able to sneak out of his room, I sat down and had a little cry with Paul. I told him that I miss Liam terribly. I mean, I'm with the kid pretty much every minute of every day but lately there has been a disconnect. The first reason for this is the developmental stage he is going through. He isn't exactly cooperative these days and he throws a lot of fits. He does the exact opposite of everything I say and, occasionally, he hits, screams, and throws things. I would say that he spends a good chunk of his days crying over anything and everything. I know this is normal and I keep telling myself that this stage will soon be over but at the end of the day I can't help but feel like our time has been wasted on bad moods, arguments, tears and time outs.

The second reason for this disconnect is an adorable little girl who demands much of my time and attention. After all, she is immobile and needs to be fed every couple of hours. I spend so much time feeding, burping, holding, diaper changing, rocking and soothing her that, at times, I feel like I am neglecting Liam. I may be exaggerating just a bit because Paul is here with me and he is wonderful help so Liam is usually being entertained by someone even if it isn't me but it still makes me miss him. With Paul going back to work next week I wonder what our days will be like when it's not just me and Liam. I feel really bad that he has to share me, though I doubt he even notices. But just when I start to feel that way I start to feel bad that Brygit will never have me all to herself either. Liam at least had two and a half solid years of mommy time but Brygit will always be sharing me. Again, I doubt she will ever notice but I still feel torn in two directions. My maternal guilt is getting really bad, apparently. I have officially come to the realization that I am only one person and I can't give all of myself to both children at all times. All I can do is feel so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my kids and make the most of the time we have together. Like these moments below:

They don't seem to mind each others' company... yet.

The past month

I can't believe that Brygit is already a month old! I also can't believe that the last time I blogged was three weeks ago. I'm pretty sure that's the longest hiatus I've had since starting the blog. I have a lot of catching up to do so let's get started!

Paul is still off work thanks to a little miracle called FMLA. He took six weeks off and we are trying really hard to not feel depressed about how fast the first four flew. And I'm trying really hard to not freak out about taking care of two little ones by myself (while keeping my sanity, of course).

My last post detailed how we spent our first week with Brygit. Once she was able to go outdoors we took her to get her newborn pictures taken. Here is Liam posing for an iphone picture while I dressed his sister.

He has been so loving toward her and his cell phone photography has been including lots of pictures of her. I think he found his muse.

Horseplay has become his new favorite past time, especially with Paul. Sword fighting, throwing things, jumping, climbing, you name it. If Paul is wearing his glasses they are sure to be stolen right off his face. The other day he told Paul he wanted to play "Beauty and the Beast" which he just calls "The Beast" and he wanted Paul to play the part of the Beast. As soon as Paul agreed Liam shouted, "Kill the Beast!" and started attacking Paul. I blame Disney.

Anyway, one of our first outings was to church followed by lunch with Paul's family. As we were leaving the restaurant a man ran after us and said, "Excuse me. You dropped your baby's umbillical cord." I was a little confused at first but I quickly realized what he was saying. I followed him back into the restaurant where, sure enough, I found Brygit's umbillical stump sitting on the bench at the table we were at. She hadn't lost it yet and she was wearing a dress without a tee shirt underneath. I quickly retrieved it and apologized for how gross that is then laughed about it for the rest of the day. She is embarrassing me already.

Of course, Brygit has been to Disneyland twice now. She enjoyed sleeping in her Moby wrap with her face smushed into my chest while we rode rides.

Periodically she would take in the sites and sounds while her brother was being transported from ride to ride.

Of course he enjoyed himself. When doesn't he?

We have had quite a few lazy days around the house. We have taken to experiments like this one where Liam wears a helmet and tells his dad to shoot him with a nerf gun.

All while Brygit snoozes away in her crib.

Then I joined in the fun by trying to capture the dart moving through the air with my camera which quickly made me into the best target.

There have also been lots of sweet moments like this.

And this.

Which then turns into this. See, he's always playing rough.

I have been enjoying taking in the little details of my baby girl. Those tiny ears.

And tiny toes.

Liam continues to be an amazing big brother and I'm so relieved that she can sleep through all of his shinanigans.

We have had some nice weather and Liam took a little dip in the pool a couple of days ago.

Brygit was gassy and fussy until she felt the warmth of the sun. Then she fell right asleep. She's her mother's daughter.

I love how she was smiling in this picture.

And I love how I am married to the most amazing father to my children. I'm so thankful for this time we have had as a family. It is irreplaceable.