Unblemished

 

 

I once read somewhere that the human brain operates in a way that makes us want to conquer more and be better. I don't remember the science behind it but it said that our brain has a hard time being content because it is hardwired for survival. It wants us to better ourselves and to advance as a society. The way it encourages us to do this is by sending messages that we aren't good enough or that we need to do more or be more. I'm not sure how much of this is actually proven scientifically but it sure makes sense to me. There is something engrained in us all that makes us keenly aware of the fact that life is short and we don't have a lot of time. We want to leave our mark and we don't want to waste our lives. We want to climb higher, be faster, and accomplish more.

 

I think that is wonderful. To an extent. There comes a point when that little "voice" in our head gets a little too loud. It makes us feel like failures or like our point of exhaustion comes too soon. In my life, at times, it makes me feel like I'm not a good enough mom or a good enough wife or, heck, a good enough person. On Sunday, our pastor spoke a little about this "voice." This wasn't the point of his sermon but it spoke volumes to me. He said that we need to remember what God says about us. I found this article this morning called What Does God Say I Am which is basically a list of Bible verses. It says that we are children of God and friends of Jesus. My favorite is Ephesians 1:4. "For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight." I don't often feel "chosen" or "holy" or "unblemished." In fact, I mostly feel like I am a work in progress. Which I definitely am. But, sometimes I need to quiet the voice that tells me I'm not good enough. Sometimes I need to remember who I am and who I was created to be. Sometimes, I need to remember that God chose me to be the wife of Paul and the mother to Liam and Brygit. Me. Not the mom at Liam's school who brings watermelon cut into fun shapes for snack, or the mom next door who homeschools, works out every morning and has patience for days, not the mom on Pinterest who throws the most adorable birthday parties for her children. Me. I'm the mom who responds to my children's cries, I'm the mom who goes without sleep at times and who goes without showering sometimes. I'm the mom who worries about my kids and who prays like crazy for my kids and who loves my kids unconditionally. I have been chosen to be this mom at this time in my life and, though I'm pretty far from "holy" or "unblemished" I know that God is confident in who I am and He sees my potential.