My whole heart

I know I talk a lot about the kind of mom I want to be but, hey, it's my job (and a very important one) so I should be working toward goals just like you would in any other occupation. Right now, I'm working on mothering with my whole heart. I'm reading this book called The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It really makes me think. In one of the chapters she describes what she calls "whole hearted mothering." Not having a "divided heart" where you feel pulled in all different directions and have several different passions away from your children. Her point is that if you're going to do something, then do it right. Give it your all. Now, I'm not a person who should listen to this kind of advice because I'm my own guilt trip most days and I rarely do anything away from my children to the point where I could actually be a better mom if I took a break every now and then. Let's not even talk about the fact that I haven't been away from Brygit since she was born which means that I haven't been on a date in months. But the author shares a personal story about a time when her children were young and she would feel like, "When my kids are older and out of diapers and naps, my life can begin. Or I can do REAL work." I would be lying if I said those exact words haven't come out of my mouth. Recently, in fact! My problem is that I always look at what other people are doing. Something nobody should ever do. I swear every single one of my child-less friends has just returned from an amazing place I have never been. I see their pictures on Facebook and I live vicariously through them. I can't help but wonder if I will ever be able to see those places. I have never been out of the country or even to Hawaii and there is an irrational side of me that thinks I may never. But it's not just travel, it's all walks of life that differ from mine. Some days it's hard to see past all the messes I clean, meals I prepare and bottoms I wipe. This idea of "whole hearted mothering" has encouraged me to live for today. My babies won't always be babies and if my heart is elsewhere then I'm missing it. Being a mom, as unglamourous as it may be, is the most important and fulfilling job in the world. It has an eternal impact on our world. Every stage of development that my children go through is a step toward the person they are going to become. I am the person entrusted with that responsibility and I don't take it lightly. I want to give this my whole heart, mind, body and soul. And I want to travel with my children so that we can see the world together. I definitely don't want to be distracted by what others are doing or by pesky interferances like television and my addicting iphone. Even this blog is taking a backseat. I am now a whole-hearted mother and it makes me so much more fulfilled.